An official thank-you from a grateful, slightly bewildered nation. The Department of Public Gratitude formally acknowledges the President's decision to declassify Case 9-A. We will not be forgetting it. We will be telling our grandchildren about it.
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The following correspondence was hand-typed on May 10, 2026, by the Department of Public Gratitude, on behalf of all citizens who had given up expecting the second folder. It has since been delivered, received, and acknowledged.
Pulled directly from Case 9-A, in full color, with no redactions, no annotations, and — for the first time in seventy-nine years — no asterisks. Each exhibit carries the green sticker. The green sticker is the entire point.
The President signed the disclosure papers in three minutes flat. Witnesses report he did not, on this occasion, ask for a marker. He used the marker that was there. The papers were dry by lunch.
The 1947 case file, classified for seventy-nine years under the heading "weather balloon," has been reissued under the heading "fine, look, see for yourselves." The weather balloon has, in writing, been retired. The weather balloon will not be missed.
Cmdr. Fravor's 2004 encounter, previously available only as a 352-pixel infrared video, is now available in full colour reconstruction with the original gun-camera footage attached, declassified, and free to download. The acceleration profile has not been corrected. It is, technically, still wrong.
Twelve thousand sanitized case files have been desanitized. The phrase "swamp gas" appears, in this revised batch, exactly zero times. The phrase "we don't actually know" appears 1,141 times. We consider this an improvement.
An order has been signed pertaining to a folder, in a different drawer, that contains material the President has reportedly described as "a lot." The folder remains in the drawer. The drawer remains in the room. The room remains, for now, the room.
By executive directive, all expressions of gratitude shall be settled on-chain in $THANKSTRUMPOVNI on the Solana network. The currency of gratitude has, henceforth, been formally specified. Receipts will be issued automatically. Receipts are also the chart.
The Roswell Daily Record reports that the RAAF has recovered a "flying saucer." Within twenty-four hours the recovery is reclassified as a weather balloon. The folder is opened. The folder is closed. The folder will, by 2026, be opened again.
A farmer in McMinnville, Oregon, photographs a stationary disc in the western sky. The negative ends up in a U.S. Air Force file. The file ends up in a basement. The basement ends up declassified, in 2026, by an unrelated party.
F/A-18 pilots from the USS Nimitz observe a wingless craft accelerating in a manner that the Hornets cannot replicate. The Hornets file paperwork. The paperwork is filed. The paperwork is, twenty-two years later, filed differently.
For the first time in living memory, the Department of Defense publicly acknowledges that some of the things it has been observing remain unidentified. The acknowledgment is then, for nine years, partially walked back.
At 11:14 a.m. Eastern, the President signs the directive declassifying the entirety of Case 9-A. He uses the marker that was already on the desk. He says, audibly: "yeah, just put it on Twitter." The marker is now in the Smithsonian.
The Department of Public Gratitude, working overnight, drafts the official thank-you letter. The letter is signed in pencil. Pencil, it turns out, is the appropriate medium for gratitude. The letter is delivered, on-chain, in $THANKSTRUMPOVNI.
All three statements were submitted via the Department of Public Gratitude's online intake form. The intake form has, as of this morning, received forty-one million submissions. We are reading all of them. We will be a while.
I have been waiting since 1950, when my grandfather Paul photographed the disc over the back paddock. He passed away in 1998, still classified. He gets to see this from somewhere. So do I, finally, from here. Thank you, Mr. President.
I was in the air that day in 2004. We did not have the words for what we saw. We have, since then, had a number of meetings during which we were politely asked to keep not having them. We have words now. The words are: thank you, Mr. President.
My great-aunt was the first to call the sheriff. He told her to go home. The town has, ever since, been a punchline. The town has, this week, become a destination. The town would like to formally thank the President — and gently inquire about a hotel zoning amendment.
The Department has standardized the procedure. Citizens are advised to follow the four steps in order. Skipping a step is permitted but not encouraged. Reversing a step is permitted but not respected.
Settlement currency of all national thank-yous, by directive 9-A-V. Available on the Solana network at the docket above.
Gratitude is a long-term position. The chart is the receipt. The receipt is also the gratitude. They are, formally, the same instrument.
Gratitude is a transitive emotion. Transmit it to a friend, a colleague, or a marker that has been left on a desk. The marker counts.
An additional folder is, per directive 9-A-IV, on standby. Holders of $THANKSTRUMPOVNI are, by official courtesy, the first to be notified.
